What makes Christian Life Coaching a
Professional, Confidential and Transformational
Relationship?
Working with a Christian Life Coach is unlike any other relationship experience. God brings people into our lives for a reason. Sometimes we are called to share the Gospel with them, be a true friend or receive some help from them.
Our pastor, co-worker and mother-in-law all have a certain role to play in our lives. Most of these relationships come with strings attached. What does this person expect from me...? How should I maintain this relationship...? Am I being too needy or bossy...?
Many Christians, (including more than half of all pastors in the U.S.) feel that they do not have anyone in their life with whom they can be completely open about their work and relationships.
Christian Life Coaching is emerging as the ideal place to find motivation, encouragement, direction and accountability within the context of a safe, Bible-based relationship.
Here's why...
Christian Coaching is a Professional Relationship
It is good to have friends. Friends encourage us, laugh with us in the good times, challenge us and even mourn with us some times. Where would we be without our best friends? While friend-relationships offer many good things, they cannot be professional relationships. If they were, they wouldn't be friendship, right?
The professional coaching relationship offers us structure and accountability. Too much structure would ruin a friendship... friends are supposed to be spontaneous and flexible! However, some structure is necessary in our lives. Goal-setting, problem-solving and mission-finding are coaching activities that require some structure. A professional coach keeps the relationship productive by bringing helpful tools and conversational structure to the table.
Christian coaches are committed to personal spiritual excellence and seek to glorify God in every aspect of their work.
Friends and family members can help to keep us accountable, but this isn't their full-time job. No matter how much we love and respect them, these people have their own struggles and worries to deal with. Friends help one another as best as they are able... when they can . That is all we can ask from non-professional relationships. Any more would be unreasonable and demanding.
Professional coaches, on the other hand, are trained to set aside their own concerns and agendas during the coaching conversation. When you talk with a coach, you are the focus of the conversation. All of the coach's attention, expertise and professional resources are brought to bear on your goals, your dreams and the obstacles that stand in your way. Also, Christian coaches are committed to personal spiritual excellence and seek to glorify God in every aspect of their work. This takes the coaching relationship to a divinely-inspired level that traditional coaching and secular counseling cannot approach.
Christian Coaching is a Confidential Relationship
The word "confidential" comes from the Latin "confido"... meaning I trust fully, I am assured and to confide, to rely upon. This is also where we get the word "confidence!"
No one would trust a total stranger with their deepest desires, struggles and personal goals... that is why coaches build relationships with the people they coach. Granted, this level of trust and confidence usually happens faster with a coach than it would with someone you meet on the street. This is because coaches are professional confidants and are trusted by many people. No coach would last very long if he or she was untrustworthy... word gets around fast!
Christian life coaches are especially committed to the Biblical principles laid out clearly in scripture. Things like gossip, "backbiting", slander and malice do carry heavy consequences professionally, but the Christian life coach answers to God first and last. This is what makes the "confidential" part of Christian life coaching so valuable. Imagine a productive relationship with a caring, skilled professional who is committed to both earning and building your confidence as a brother or sister in Christ. In that kind of environment, people make amazing progress toward setting and achieving their life-goals. That is what Christian life coaching is all about.
Christian Coaching is a Transformational Relationship
To transform is to change or alter something in form, appearance or nature. Coaching focuses on the nature...
Transformation is something that God wants all Christians to experience. We are supposed to be different... in a good way! In Christian life coaching, we are mainly aiming at the transformation of our nature, not just the outward appearance of our lives. The outward form and appearance of our lives will change along with the inner transformation of our nature.
The Apostle Paul says "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2)
In his excellent book Leadership Coaching: The Disciplines, Skills, and Heart of a Christian Coach, Tony Stoltzfus talks about transformational coaching relationships. He reminds us that coaching relationships need to be transparent ones in order to bring about transformation. The best professional, confidential coaching relationship will always be transparent... no double-talk or pressure-tactics. When a Christian life coach comes beside you to "...engage the teachable moments of life..." you will experience lasting, positive change.
After all, everyone working with a coach has 3 things in common...
- 1) A desire to see change in some area of their life
- 2) A willingness to do whatever it takes to make that change happen
- 3) A readiness to let someone (the coach) come beside them and help them on this journey
but most of all... Christian Life Coaching is a Relationship
Christian coaches do their best to work along with God at bringing about change. We find out very quickly that working against God's will or His principles for our lives will never get us where we want to be as His children. How does God bring about change in our lives? By building relationship with us. A distant God who just throws rules and mandates at us will never change us in a lasting, positive way. A coach who just gives out orders and advice will not really help you to accomplish God's will for your life! A professional Christian coach who values confidence and transformation will build relationship in the following ways...
A Christian coach will listen to you... hear you out... and listen for your heart, not just your words.
A Christian coach will listen to you... hear you out... and listen for your heart, not just your words. When they are not listening, coaches ask powerful questions. These questions reframe problems in new light, and draw effective solutions out of the person being coached. Christian coaches help their clients to discover their internal motivation and build on it... to bring about the desired changes. A good coach will respect your uniqueness as a human being... not try to shove you into a box or give you a label.
Christian life coaching respects the fact that God gives everyone the free will to make decisions on their own. All of these things are necessary for a good relationship... free will, respect, good motives, careful listening and powerful questions.
If all you want is advice, just visit some online forum or chat room and post a question!
Dozens, maybe hundreds of people will gladly tell you what to do with your life... but they won't stick around to find out what happened... they won't help you pick up the pieces and start over again... and they won't be there down the road to rejoice in your victories.
The Christian life coaching relationship is built on professionalism and confidence... the goal is positive, lasting change... transformation.
If coaching sounds right for you, Click Here to get a free consultation...
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