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Stress ReductionStress reduction is the ideal method for dealing with stress.Before we try managing our stress or coping with our stress, we should do everything we can to reduce the stress in our lives. this page will cover the two phases for reducing stress in our lives: 1) Decreasing the number of stressors 2) Changing the way that we process the stressors internally Decreasing the number of Stressors
The first stress reduction step, decreasing the number of stressors, may look a lot like the prioritization that I describe for time management...
I use similar steps because they work in both situations! Make a List
Start by making a list of the things that stress you out.
This is a brainstorming session... So include everything that causes you to experience stress, no matter how silly or small it may seem. Write them all down, in no particular order, until you are happy with your list. You can do this over several days... The list can be flexible and modified as new stressors pop into mind. 
Apply the 80/20 Principle
Once you have your list of stressors, re-organize it with this in mind:
20% of your stressors cause 80% of your stress! Removing stressors from our lives takes work... it is best to deal with the things that cause the most stress, rather than waste our time on the 80% of stressors that do not really cause us that much stress! Make a hit-list of the top 20% of stressors that cause you the most stress. This list is where we will find stressors worth the time and energy of elimination. 
Set Reasonable Goals
Decide which stressors on your stress reduction hit list may be eliminated.
Be reasonable. Eliminating some stressors, especially the big ones, can take major lifestyle change. In some cases, you may want to consider using a professional's services, such as a psychologist, family therapist, or medical doctor. Target the hit-list stressors that you can eliminate without causing undue turmoil in your life and your family's life. But remember... sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. For each stressor that you target, set a goal for elimination. Describe what elimination will look like, and set a deadline. 
Apply an Action Statement to each Goal
Action statements outline the actual steps that you will take to eliminate the stressors.
Make sure the action statements are physical things that you actually do, not abstract thoughts. (that is what the brainstorming was for... now it is time for action!)
For example: Get a transfer is not an action statement. However, Fill out and turn in transfer-request paperwork is an action statement. Follow the steps above carefully and systematically, and you will have a fail-safe framework for decreasing the number of stressors in your life. This is only the first part of stress reduction. Next, we need to change the way we process stress. 
Changing the Way We Process StressorsEliminating the number of stressors in our lives was the important first phase of stress reduction.If you followed the four steps above, you probably identified some stressors that seemed impossible to eliminate. It's true... trying to cut some stressors out of our lives is actually more stressful than just leaving them there. The good news: we can still practice stress reduction by changing the way we think about, or process the stressors internally. This second, important phase has its roots in cognitive-behavioral psychology. It involves changing our perceptions, modifying our decision-making, and training our worries. New Thinking
Replacing poor thought processes with new ones is the main key to changing the way we process stress. I will list the 5 steps to new thinking below, then give you an example of how you could use them.
If you are serious about this, then grab some writing materials and we will get started. 1 - SituationWhat was the situation that caused you stress? Write down the stressor. Not the circumstances surrounding the event... just a simple sentence describing the stressor.2 - ThinkingWrite down what you were thinking when that stressor entered your life. Not what you felt... Not what you did... just what the stressor made you think.3 - FeelingsNow remember how the stressor made you feel. Try to remember your pulse rate, breathing, skin temperature and moisture, any uncomfortable feelings in your stomach, etc. Also write down any emotions that you felt... were you angry or scared or impatient?4 - BehaviorThis is where you can finally list what you did in response to that stressor! What were your exact actions? List the things you said, your tone of voice and anything physical that you did in response to the stressor. How did they aggrivate or calm the situation? How did your actions affect you and the people around you?5 - New ThinkingLook at everything that you wrote above. Look for a new way to think about the stressor. Look for new ways of thinking that will change the way you feel in that type of situation. Look for new ways of thinking that will make your behaviors in that stressful situation more effective in reducing your stress.Example
1 - I had to give a talk in front of a group of people at (school, work, etc.)
2 - I was thinking... "I'm going to look like an idiot up there... what are they going to think about me? They don't really want to hear what I have to say... and they might argue with me or ask a question that I can't answer. What will happen then? Is there any way I can avoid giving this talk?" 3 - I was feeling nervous, maybe even a little scared. My heart started pounding before I even stood up and walked to the front of the room. Once I did start talking, my voice felt shaky and it felt like there were goldfish swiming around in my stomach. 4 - I apologized repeatedly for my nervousness, but that just made it seem more obvious. I made a sad joke about myself that made other people uncomfortable. I shuffled my notes a lot, and squinted at the lights and at my notes. I talked very fast, but didn't realize I was doing it at the time. I started walking back to my seat before anyone could ask me any questions. 5 - In the future, I could remind myself of these new thoughts: "They want to hear what I have to say... I was asked to give this talk... I am an intelligent person and know a lot about this subject... Question and discussion after the talk will be good... It will give me a chance to hear other people's perspectives on this... Their opinion of me is just their opinion, and it cannot change who I am as a person." This is just an example... there are many ways that this tool can be used to change the way we process stressors interally. Free Life Coaching Consultation
New Book Offer!
Find out about James Klotzle's new book... God In Our Stress: the Christian's Guide to Stress Management |
New Book Offer!
God In Our Stress: the Christian's Guide to Stress Management
Many therapists, coaches and spiritual mentors are equipped to help with stress reduction... it is best to find someone with experience and a flexible service.
I am pleased to offer you a Free Life Coaching Consultation, where we can discuss options for dealing with stress in your life. |
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God In Our Stress: the Christian's Guide to Stress Management
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