Something might be missing in my relationship...

by Alexandra
(USA)

I'm 18 years old, and consider myself a Christian, and I'm in a relationship with my best friend who is also 18.

We've been dating for almost six months and everything has been amazing; we even talk about marriage sometimes. He is an amazing person with many good qualities and I love him so much.

However, I'm moving 200 miles away for college in 3 months and we are going to have to endure a long distance relationship.

The problem is, my boyfriend is an "ex" Christian, with a Christian family, who is "mad" at God and seems intolerant of the Christian ways. I'm sad that he has come to this conclusion, and there is nothing I can do to improve this.

I've talked to him on several occassions about this and I've prayed so much, and still am praying.

I want the future to be bright for us when I move away by having God a part of our relationship. I think it will help significantly, but I'm not sure what I should do.

-Alexandra


James' Response: Something Is Missing

Hi Alexandra,

Thanks for sharing your situation... I know first-hand how difficult long-distance relationships can be! I was separated from my love by 1,900 miles for months on end.

There is good news: your relationship can survive such a separation if you both want it to! See my article on long distance relationships.

However, you are right... there IS something missing in your relationship. In fact, it is the very thing (person, rather) that you hold most dear in your entire life as a child of God. It is Jesus Christ, of course. I can't personally imagine being in a relationship with someone who does not share this passion with me. For me, it would be very lonely if they did not understand, respect, encourage and share the faith that I have.

Of course, some people are married before they turn their lives over to Christ, and perhaps their spouse does not make the same decision. This type of situation is addressed clearly in 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

I cannot tell you, Alexandra, whether to pursue this relationship or not. That is completely up to you to decide. However, I can show you what the Bible says...

Here it is in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (ESV)


Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, "I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people."

"Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty."


I also know that, statistically speaking, marriages where the partners share a common faith tend to be more successful in the long run than marriages where there are strong and different feelings about important matters like personal spirituality.

I hope that this is helpful... I know it is hard to hear these things sometimes, but I am confident that God has our best interest in mind when He gives us these teachings.

Blessings on your life as you move forward in your education and make important decisions about your relationships!

-James