Quietness for the Soul

by Tim
(Dallas, TX)

I live on the outskirts of a big city and work a very demanding job. Actually, let's say that I work two separate full-time jobs. One job earns a paycheck and keeps me busy for ten hours every weekday. The other job fills my life with love, joy and stress, and fills up every other waking moment of my life. This second full-time job is my family.

I like to think that I'm a good father and husband... that I don't bring the stresses of work home with me, and that I am a good provider for my family. About two years ago, I had a major breakdown. Deadlines were piling up at work, one of the kids was sick and crying throughout the night, and the holidays were approaching. I got into my car early on a Wednesday morning to make it to a special meeting, turned the key, and nothing happened. I tried everything, but the car was dead. I lost it.

I shouted and kicked the tires, slammed the hood, then realized the futility and just stood there with my face in my hands and wept. God seemed so far away. Life seemed overwhelming. I felt out of control, like everything in my life was running wild and there was nothing I could do about it. I could not make my child healthy. I could not continue to play superman at work. I could not even get my stupid car to start. And, there were about a million other things that felt completely out of my control in that moment.

God used that moment of helplessness to remind me of my need for Him. For the Creator of the Universe, my stress was not as insurmountable as I thought. He showed me that I was putting other things before my relationship with Him. Even good things, like providing for my family and being a responsible citizen... but I was still putting them before God in my life.

I'm not any less busy now, but I experience much less stress in my day-to-day life. I've learned the importance of casting my cares upon God, rather than trying to take control for myself.

Every morning I get up early (and I am NOT a morning person, so this was hard at the beginning!) and I spend a little time alone with God. I commit my day to Him, tell him all my concerns, thank Him for all He has done for me and praise Him for His awesome powerfulness.

I find that it's best to do this outdoors, usually while taking a walk. It's a little chilly in the winter, but every morning I try to have my time with God outside. This allows me to speak whatever I'm thinking or feeling out loud to Him without waking up my family or making a scene.

Now there is nothing that can replace my mornings with God. If I neglect them, the stress comes roaring back to overwhelm me. Being there in His presence as the world comes awake keeps me sane and calm, but more importantly, it keeps me close to my Heavenly Father!