I'm Not Your Nanny!

by Jennifer
(Suburbia, USA)

Over the last couple of years, I have gotten together with some of the other young professional mothers in my church to start a childcare co-op. Really, it's nothing that big... there are usually just five or six of us participating at one time, and we each have only one or two children each.

The whole idea was to give us the opportunity to work at least part time and have some free time away from our kids to run errands and do "grown-up" things... without paying for sitters or daycare. Great idea, really... each mom keeps the kids at her house from 9-5 one day a week, while the others are free to work or do whatever until their day rolls around. Saves us money and we know that our kids are in good hands!

This little co-op has worked like a charm, mostly because I've been organizing and instigating it. I have two children under the age of three, and am so blessed by this little arrangement... until recently.

Maybe it's because I'm seen as the organizer, or maybe it's because I'm a pushover, but I feel like the other moms have been taking advantage of me lately. Actually, I know they have!

Several of the moms have been dropping their kids off early on my day to babysit, and sometimes they leave them much later than 5pm. The idea is that the kids would have breakfast in their own homes, and that their mothers would pick them up in time for supper. That way, the babysitter only has to feed them lunch and snacks. Sounds great in theory, but when the kids get dropped off early and picked up late (sometimes three hours late!) I end up fixing them breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plus, it cuts into my time with my husband in the evenings, and interferes with my evening plans some days.

I am very conscientious about dropping off and picking up MY children at the right times... to keep from inconveniencing the other moms. Can't they do the same for me??? Really, I don't mind too much, especially when it only happens once in a while... but one of the moms is a chronic offender.

She regularly drops her kids off at 8am on my day to babysit, and rarely picks them up before 6pm. My husband likes to have supper with us when he comes home at 6pm, so this always interferes with our evening. He has started to complain. I've asked this other mom to drop off and pick up at the right times, but she always has some excuse... EVERY TIME! I've talked to the other moms, but they have not had this much trouble with her.

I've talked with this mom, and tried to communicate how important it is that she respect my time and family, but the message never seems to get through. At least, her actions don't change and there is always an excuse. The other evening I was taking her kids and mine out for some fast food, because I was tired of cooking. While I was sitting in the drive-through line, I saw her come out of the hair salon across the street, get into her SUV, and drive away. That was the last straw.

This is ruining our friendship and the unity of our group. It is starting to put undue stress on my marriage. I'm not this mother's nanny, and I'm not getting paid overtime to take care of her kids while she is off gallivanting around town, free as a bird.

Our co-op is small, and we can't afford to just kick her out...

What should I do???