How to Move On?

by Kara

My question may be unusual but I don't have many people that I think can give me solid advice on it. I dated one of my really close guy friends on and off for about a year total. After knowing him a few years he got distant and I found out he was having homosexual feelings toward another guy.

He told me he didn't want to be like that and told me he loved me and I gave him another chance and dated him again at the end of high school. He went on to college, and a month after he was there a friend told me to be careful of him.

He told me not to worry, but eventually he broke up with me for an unknown reason. When he came home shortly after I saw a picture of him and another guy that was his new room mate kissing on his camera by accident.

After all this he still continued to tell me periodically he still loved me and doesn't want to like guys until recently. I do love him, but I don't trust him anymore. He will never give me any closure and plays with my mind emotionally in telling me that he loves me.

Obviously I should move on. But I really do care about him a lot and it's hard for me to be friends with him without getting upset and mad.

I just don't know what to do about he situation. I don't want to lose his friendship of 10 years now, but I can't keep dealing with this every day.

-Kara


James' Answer: Moving On

Hi Kara,

I am going to assume that you are a Christian because you posted this on a Christan Coaching website... so my words to you are going to be based on Scriptural principles.

As Christians, our first and greatest duty... our purpose for being on this earth and alive in Christ... is to Glorify God. This is especially true in our relationships with others.

Take another look at your relationship with this man and ask yourself these questions:

"Is this relationship bringing glory to God?"

"Is this relationship dragging me down and hindering my ability to reflect God's glory in my own life?"

If God is not being glorified and your friend has not responded to years of your witnessing the Gospel, then it is time to move on. God calls some of us to plant the seeds of the Gospel, and some of us to water them... but it is only God who can make them sprout and bring fruit in a person's life. You have been brought into this man's life for a reason, but your work with him may be finished. It may be time for you to hand him over to the Lord with a prayer, and continue to follow God faithfully and completely in your own life.

Kara, if you are a new person in Christ, it is time to put off your old nature and desires and walk through life as He did.

Here are some verses to encourage you through this difficult time of letting go...
2 Cor. 3:18
Col. 3:9-10
Eph. 4:22-24
1 John 2:6






I hope this is helpful,

-James