Full Time Anger

by David
(Parsons, KS)

The truth of anger is that is merely a collective set of things, so to speak, that we have given a label. We therefore call this thing we observe; Anger. It is my certain belief that people are never full of Anger, they are rather, full of Fear.

The threat is always a purely subjective experience. The cycle is truly not that complicated in many ways, however. To be certain, there is no way to predict any human behavior. It is always an absolute indeterminate.

How would I know any of this? Because I am 45 and I have been what many folks have deemed to be "full of anger." It is true. Took me a long time to figure it out. And, it has utterly destroyed much of my life, and that of those that I love.

The trouble, and true irony is that my true heart is nowhere near the evil end of the life choice measuring stick. It has become a paradox for me to say the least. But, I am not one to sit on my bum and idle away the time while continuing to sit in the goo of deplorable destruction of myself and those around me.

Knowledge is the key. Knowledge of my own fears first of all. Knowledge of my triggers. Knowledge of my past actions. Truth. These things and others are the only remedy for such a cancerous growth in ones personality.

The mountains of this thing we all call anger, are elegant and grand, full of all the majesty of God above. He gave us the choice to be angry so that the contrast helps us recognize the greatest light.

So, I am not sure that I have met anyone as full of this thing we call anger, as I am. But if you are, don't let it get you. The Savior was called Master for one good reason: He was the complete master of Himself. We can, as mortals, only approach this. Imperfectly, but we can approach it.

Here is my approach: I had to gain the knowledge about this thing called anger. I have worked hard to take it apart and examine each little piece, down to the smallest nut bolt and screw.

Last, it is taking sheer power to overwhelm the fear of looking at my grotesque wrong doings with pure honesty. That part is quite difficult. But hey, I'd rather be a person in control of myself; so that is the direction I am working towards.

Am I there yet? Nope. I have been at this for ten years with some successes, and some failures. I still get what we all call angry. Probably will not master myself in any way shape or form before I pass away.

But hey, I AM NOT GOING to stand aside and let darkness rule my life. For anyone in this struggle, God put the answers into other people and also into you. Read and search all good books. Ask for help. Just look around. Pray.

God bless...

Incidentally, there really is no Victory until you are standing in front of God and can tell him with all honesty that you gave it your all. Cuzz man, he will know if any of us is lying. No thanks. I'd rather be in His Kingdom, than the BBQ below.

Amen