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Eustress and Distress

Not all stress is bad!

...In fact, certain kinds of stress actually make us stronger.

Stressors that drive us to become stronger people create what some researchers call eustress. Think: "useful-stress".

Stressors that hurt or damage us beyond repair create what is commonly known as distress. Think: "distress-signal"

Effective stress management is all about reducing distress and maximizing eustress.

Useful Stress

"How can stress be good?"

My favorite way to explain this is what I call "the muscle analogy." Body builders have been telling this story for a long time... and it perfectly illustrates the definition of stress.

If we do not get some stress, we will steadily become softer and weaker. This is why a broken arm is about half its normal size when it finally comes out of a cast!

What exactly are bodybuilders doing when they lift weights? They are stressing their muscles. In fact, they are stressing them to the point of making tiny tears! ...that's where the expression "getting ripped" (lifting weights until the muscles bulge) comes from.

After the muscles are torn, the body rushes to heal them up again. Extra blood vessels are formed around the muscle cells, more nutrients are put into action, and the muscle ends up stronger than where it started.

There are lots of useful stressors out there besides dumbbells!

The grading systems in schools are designed to create useful stress... students go through the pain of studying for tests and researching papers and are rewarded with better grades (and a better education, in theory).

The stress of facing a year-end review at work causes us to prepare and tie up loose ends... strengthening our career and causing us to re-evaluate our current position.

The stress of juggling meals, errands, school schedules and extracurricular activities causes many "stay at home" moms to become super-parents with more versatile skill-sets than professional sports-team managers! ...the very definition of stress, but an amazing reaction to it!

Keys to making sure that your stress working for you!

- Give yourself time to "heal"... that means: enough down-time, quiet-time or free-time to stay healthy and balanced. Everyone needs different types and amounts, but taking the time is crucial to maximizing useful stress.

- Challenge yourself a little more every time, but do not take on more than you can handle... bodybuilders know this... that is why they increase the weights but always avoid straining their backs or breaking their bones. They start out normal size, but get stronger by slowly increasing their capabilities.

- Create a good support network... again, you will often see bodybuilders "spotting" one another on the heavy lifts. Never try to go it alone. That is how people get hurt. Whether it is a mentor at church, a friend who uses the same daycare or a colleague who can cover when you are out sick or on vacation... we have got to watch each other's backs.

- Don't forget the difference between eustress and distress... there are many more ways to optimize the stress in your life... you may find that the personalized, compassionate guidance of a life coach makes all the difference.

Destructive Stress

We already know how damaging stress can be... now here is why:

Acute distress...

Picture that same muscle we were talking about earlier... you are walking back to your car through a busy parking lot when a huge truck comes zooming around the corner... and you make a spectacular long jump (something you have not done since physical education in school...and not too often back then, either!)

The driver zooms on past, and you are left shaken and untouched... but with a painfully pulled muscle. That is how acute distress is destructive. Too much, too fast, bad timing, wrong angle. Sometimes annoying, like a pulled muscle... sometimes devastating.

There is not much we can do about acute stressors. They come when they come... they are a part of life. But we can stay as prepared as possible... remembering the definition of stress... maintaining physical health, emotional well-being and mental acuity.

That way, we are prepared to manage and cope with acute stressors when they come.

Chronic distress...

Now you are a novice bodybuilder without an experienced mentor. You are in the gym every day, working the same muscle groups, never changing your routine. You work out in the evenings, you work out on the weekends, you work out over lunch break. You work out even when you are sore, tired and hungry.

You do not even notice how much you work out anymore... you are so used to the routine! Everyone in your life is used to your routine as well.... You've forgotten the definition of stress! You start to get weaker and unhealthy, falling ill more and more often.

Finally one day, you reach up to put some dishes away on a high shelf at home... and something pops... Not good! That is how chronic stress is destructive. Not enough down time. No breaks for healing. Not enough nutrients to fuel your regimen.

Keys for preventing chronic distress...

- Identify stress for what it is... Because chronic stress is so subtle, this may take some real self-examination and re-evaluation of your lifestyle. Knowing the definition of stress really helps!

- Know the sources of stress ... if you can point at where your life stress is coming from, you are well on the way to preventing it!

- Practice stress reduction ... Search out and destroy (or gently remove from your life) any stressors that are unnecessary or excessive. Learn to say "no" ... establish healthy personal boundaries.

- Re-adjust priorities... Make self-care a high priority. (Especially if you are a selfless mother, spiritual leader or public servant!) Make time to do things that keep you relaxed, are healing for your body and soothing for your mind.

- Fill yourself with good "nutrients"... brain fuel and soul food like good books, good websites, good interactions with friends, and good music. Also, a healthy diet helps tremendously! (See a doctor or nutritionist about that one....)

If you have any questions about the definition of stress, or if you think that a compassionate, supportive stress-management-coaching relationship might help, please take advantage of my Free Coaching Consultation.

If you are not interested in a coaching relationship at this time, but want access to some of the best Stress Resources available... Click Here to go to the Stress Resources page.