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Communicating with YourselfWhy is communicating with yourself important? Who cares? Well... You should care. Only by communicating with yourself can you truly know yourself, who you are and where you stand with God.To find out how well you communicate with yourself, ask yourself these questions: "What do I believe?" "Why do I believe that?" "When makes me very angry?" "Why does that make me angry?" "What makes me truly happy?" "Why does that make me so happy?" If you can answer these questions easily, you probably already have practice communicating with yourself. Many people call this type of communication "self awareness" or "mindfulness." Both of those words do describe aspects of communicating with yourself. Instead of calling it "self-awareness" or "mindfulness," I call it "communicating with yourself" because it is an easy way to understand and describe these concepts. Perhaps when you think of communicating with yourself, you think of a wild-eyed person shuffling down the street and muttering incoherent phrases. That is not what I am talking about here! Many of us go through life without real, focused thoughtfulness or contemplation. This is not what God intended for us. God wants us to examine our hearts and to think and act in a conscious, mindful manner. Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you - unless, of course, you fail the test? (2 Corinthians 13:5, NIV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. (Philippians 4:8, NIV) Communicating with yourself will help you to live this way. Have you ever noticed that your ideas really take shape when you talk to a trusted friend about them? Have you ever been surprised when you find yourself thinking or saying something and realize... "That's not like me!" How do you know it's not like you to think or speak or act in a certain way? Do you really know yourself? How do you react under stress? How do you know when you are really close to God? How do you know when you are joyful? How do you know when you are fulfilled? Asking Yourself QuestionsOkay, we are not just going to ask hard questions in this article... we are going to explore some answers too!One way that you can communicate better with yourself is to actually ask yourself questions and then try to answer them. Pick questions that will help you learn more about yourself. To help you come up with some, think of this... What kinds of questions would you ask an interesting stranger if you really wanted to get to know them better? If you were a life coach and you wanted to understand where your client was coming from, what types of questions would you ask them? These types of questions are great ones to ask yourself. When you have some questions in mind or written down, try to answer them. If you are a verbal person and talking helps you to think, then try answering the questions out loud. (Make sure you have some privacy for this... you will get more honest answers from yourself!) If you are a writer and think best by jotting things down, then try to write out your answers. You could do this in a journal or in a letter to yourself. Or, if it will help you to be more honest, you can make up your mind to tear up or delete what you write after this exercise is complete. It's up to you. Either way, you will get better at communicating with yourself. Perhaps you are a poet or a musician. Maybe you have some other artistic talent. If it helps you to express yourself and answer your questions in an honest and genuine fashion, try using a skill or method that is comfortable to you. I like to write out answers and then read them back to myself out loud. What to do with the Answers?Like I mentioned above, you can keep or get rid of your answers in whatever form you happened to give them. Keep them in a private journal or put them through the shredder. Record your verbal answers to review them in the future or speak them to the wind. Keep the song in your heart or share it with a close friend.Whatever we do with our answers, the benefit of communicating with ourselves is lost if we do not learn something or grow in some way. A great way to make sure that we learn and grow from this exercise is to take our answers to God in prayer or to measure them against what the Bible says. Often we find that the answers to our own questions just bring up more questions. Don't let this bother you! Life is full of questions and God is gracious with His answers. He knows how to give good gifts to His children (Matthew chapter 7). Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8, KJV) What We Find...Often we avoid communicating with ourselves because, subconsciously, we know that we will not like what we discover about ourselves. If we push through this discomfort and actually communicate with ourselves, it is very likely that we will find out things that make us feel bad or guilty.Or, we will find areas where we need to grow or learn. All of this is to be expected. The Bible says the heart is deceitful above all things, that all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and that none of us is righteous. (Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 3:23, Romans 3:10) Even those of us who have given our hearts to God will find that there are many ways for us to grow. We need to die to our old selves every day, and live the new lives that Christ has provided and as the Holy Spirit enables us. (2 Corinthians 4:8-11, 1 Corinthians 15) In the Bible, this is called sanctification, purification and perfection. (John 17:17, 2 Thessalonians 2:13, Hebrews 6:1) Here is one difference between a Christian and someone who is lost... Christians who communicate with themselves find that everything good in them comes from God, and they long to give up and get rid of the things that make them feel bad or guilty. Christians find that God will relieve them of their burden when they cast their cares upon Him. Christians find great joy in answering questions about themselves in ways that glorify God and not themselves. People who are lost usually go one of two directions. They either try to find false comfort and assurance in the aspects of themselves that make them feel uncomfortable or guilty. Or, they try to ignore these things and focus on the parts of themselves that make them feel good. Honesty is the key to any effective communication. Communicating with yourself is no different. Approaches that ignore the hard things or call the bad things good will only lead to inner conflict in the end. Being honest with yourself will cause you to lean on God, the source of all truth. Focus off of the SelfAs you begin to communicate with yourself and be honest with yourself, you will learn a lot about yourself. I am not saying that we should all get wrapped up in self-centeredness... Far from it!Communicating with yourself will enable you to communicate better with others, because you will know "where you are coming from." You will know what you believe and why you believe it, and be able to express it well. This will help you to share the Good News with other people! Communicating with yourself will also enable you to communicate better with God... this is because you will have more ways to express yourself in prayer. Know yourself, Christian, and you will learn to love God and your neighbor so much better!
If you are interested in becoming a better communicator, consider working with a life coach! Click Here for your Free Consultation...
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If you are interested in becoming a better communicator, consider working with a life coach! Click Here for your Free Consultation...
Share Your Communication Tips
Do you have experience or expertise in effective communication? Would you like to add a thing or two to this website? Well now you can if you like! |
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Share Your Communication Tips
Do you have experience or expertise in effective communication? Would you like to add a thing or two to this website? Well now you can if you like!
If you are interested in becoming a better communicator, consider working with a life coach! Click Here for your Free Consultation...
Share Your Communication Tips
Do you have experience or expertise in effective communication? Would you like to add a thing or two to this website? Well now you can if you like! |
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