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Christian Pre Marriage Counseling and Coaching
"Do we really need Christian pre marriage counseling?"
"We are so in love; why do we need counseling before we get married?" "Isn't counseling just for couples who cannot get along?" These are a few of the questions that I get from soon-to-be-married lovebirds! Truly, there are some couples who realize that they need accountability and guidance before beginning their lives together. Sometimes the stress of wedding planning or family issues drives them to Christian pre marriage counseling before they get to the altar. Others are so in love that they do not see any value in counseling before the big day rolls around (or ever, for that matter!) To each one, I offer this simple reminder: Marriage, especially between two followers of Christ, is designed by God to be a beautiful, powerful witness to the world. As Christians and as married couples, our enemy Satan will do everything he can to destroy our joy. The enemy will try devious, personalized, spiteful tactics to separate you and your future spouse. At the very least, he will try to keep you preoccupied with "putting out fires" in your relationship so that your light and testimony will be squelched. If we are prepared for this, we will not be taken off guard or fooled into fighting one another. Instead, we will experience the victory that only God can deliver and the joy that comes of living a fulfilling life with the spouse He has provided for us. It is surprising how effective a little Christian pre marriage counseling can be at smoothing out the bumps in life's road before we reach them. Traditional Christian pre marriage counseling can be time consuming, so working with a coach or counselor over the telephone and through email is a good alternative for many couples. Whether you prefer to work with a counselor as a couple or as an individual, any preparation you can make before the wedding will help to make your marriage a successful one! 
Setting the Tone of your Marriage
Whether you realize it or not, you and your future spouse are establishing patterns of relationship and communication that will set precedents for years to come.
Many couples do not use these months before their wedding to prepare for marriage (just the wedding!) Sadly, this is one of the reasons why we see half of all first-time marriages fail... Christian ones included. Here is a quick checklist of Christian pre marriage counseling principles to measure your relationship against God's vision of a fulfilling, abundant future together: ... - How healthy are your spiritual lives? (...both individually and as a couple?) Do you spend time in prayer? Do you fill yourselves with truth from the scripture? What is the testimony of God's work in your lives and relationship? Do your lifestyle and relationship focus on glorifying Him? ... - Are you guarding one another's purity? Have you both talked about and committed to avoiding inappropriate physical intimacy before marriage? Are you putting your fiance in compromising positions through your actions or words? Have you communicated about any interactions that have posed a temptation to you? ... - What have you learned about one another? Do you know your future spouse well enough to fight for him or her spiritually through specific prayer and emotional support? Are you open with each other about physical, mental and spiritual health issues? Is there something about your future spouse that you hope marriage will change? ... have you communicated with him or her about that? Building Lifelong Skills
Christian pre marriage coaching also focuses on building the skills that will carry you and your future spouse through the many hurdles that come up in real life.
A few of the main skills that any marriage needs are communication, decision making and conflict resolution. These skills build on one another. Without communication skills you cannot do any decision making... Without decision making skills you cannot practice conflict resolution! ... - Communication Without communication, there is no relationship! Your role in the marriage, male or female, is to bless and encourage with your words. Tearing one another down and discouraging each other is an abuse of your role. Learning and practicing effective listening is the best start in becoming an excellent communicator. ... - Decision Making Decision making affects all areas of the relationship. Married couples must learn to work together to decide everything from which church they will attend to how they will educate their children to where they will go out for supper. Seeking the Lord's guidance in daily life and specifically for larger decisions will really help! Respect for one another's opinions, knowledge and desires, is a must-have. ... - Conflict Resolution Conflict is a part of life. Learning how to have healthy disagreements and differences of opinion is vital to conflict resolution in a marriage relationship. Speaking the truth in love and offering a soft answer to harsh words are first steps to resolving a conflict. Keep the health of your relationship at the top of your priorities! (This may mean Christian pre marriage counseling or coaching...) If your future spouse knows that you love and care for him or her above all difference of opinion, your conflicts will not cause division.
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Many passionate couples pursue Christian pre marriage counseling "...so that Satan will not outsmart us. Because we are very familiar with his evil schemes."
(2 Cor 2:11)
If you want to reap the long-term benefits of Christian pre marriage coaching, just click here to set up a free consultation session.
I have a passion for helping couples prepare for the challenging, rewarding journey of marriage! |
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