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Anger and FearAnger and fear are closely related. In fact, most anger springs out of a deep (often subconscious) sense fear. But do not try telling this to an angry person, it will just make him more angry. However, it is the truth. When we are angry, it usually demonstrates our fear that something or someone close to us is being threatened.This is a basic primal instinct that God has given us. Think of a wasp's nest or a momma bear with cubs. When something threatens them or something that they hold dear, they get angry! This could be their "airspace", their hive/nest, their den, their cubs, their territory or themselves. Threat + Fear = AngerIn the same way, people get angry when things that are connected to them are threatened... think of road rage; when one driver's competence and safety are threatened. (Insults are also a form of threat, and one of the most serious, because well-placed insults threaten the core of a person's being or self-hood.) This is the relationship between anger and fear.People also become angry when their freedom, ideas, ideals, relationships, family members, friends, favorite institutions (from church denominations to sports teams), personal possessions, perceived accomplishments (job performance, completed tasks, etc.), competencies and many other things are threatened. This is especially true with our relationships... or if the person doing the threatening is close to the angry person (like a spouse). Anger and fear become personal, and way more serious. When someone makes us angry, we are giving them a certain amount of power over us. Sometimes a LOT of power over us! When we allow someone else to make us angry, we are acknowledging that they are a threat. This shows a fundemental lack of trust in God. If we really understood in that moment how much God loves us, and trusted Him to take care of us, we would probably not feel so fearful and threatened, or be so angry. This is easy to say, but much more difficult to live out! People who are always angry have probably learned early in life that fear is the most powerful motivator. Maybe they learned it from a parent, school teacher or the neighborhood thugs. When fear is the most powerful motivator in someone's life, they often cover up their fear with anger. There it is again... anger and fear. Perpetually angry people who are Christians probably have a fear relationship with God rather than a loving relationship with Him. Fear vs. Perfect LoveWe are supposed to "fear God" in theory ("the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom", Psalm 111, Proverbs 1, Proverbs 9) but what is the end and completion of wisdom? Christ said that the first and greatest commandments are to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength... and our neighbors (and family) as ourselves. (Matthew 22, Mark 12, Luke 10). This sums up "all the law and the prophets." It is also the end, or completion, of wisdom.Fear is not the most powerful motivator. It is the most powerful weapon that Satan is able to use... but Love is really more powerful. Love is the one thing that Satan does not understand and cannot conquer. Perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18)... read the entire book of 1 John.. it's very good. In God's family, there is no place for anger and fear. Living by the SpiritMany times little irritations that are easily endured or passed over when we are living by the Spirit turn into episodes of anger when we are not living by the Spirit. The fear that prompts this anger may arise from a need to control our situation and surroundings... even to the point of causing anger at a TV show we are watching or a sports team's performance or someone whos life is connected with ours. When something happens that is out of our control, it highlights our sense of helplessnes (which is our main fear) and sparks our anger.Imagine needing to be in control of everything in your life in order to feel secure. Imagine needing things to go your way so badly that you are seriously put out whenever they don't. Imagine feeling like you have to demand or coerce love and affection from others in order to get any love and affection. Imagine feeling like you have to play God's game in order to get out of Him what you want and need. Every time things didn't go your way or someone threatened to withdraw love and affection or do something out of your control, you would feel intense anger and fear. After a while, this response is so automatic that even something small like a television show can trigger it. What can we do about anger and fear? Pursue love. Perfect love casts out fear, and breaks the endless cycle of anger and fear.
If you are ready to overcome anger in your life, whether it is due to everyday stress or a traumatic event, consider Christian Life Coaching to help you through!
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If you are ready to overcome anger in your life, whether it is due to everyday stress or a traumatic event, consider Christian Life Coaching to help you through!
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